Piercing the heart
by princess-troy
Summary: How do Rory and Jess feel after the wedding? Do they regret it?....(R/J) plz R/r
1. Jess

Jess's POV This takes place after Rory has left for D.C, after the season 2 finale, leaving Jess alone  
  
I can't stand her. I can't stand the way she makes me feel. She's a suffocating cloud that surrounds me, controlling my actions, thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I think that she controls my breathing. But somehow, how much it can be distracting, it still feels sort of uplifting, intoxicating and plain addictive. Almost as good as love.almost.  
  
The problem is I don't know how she feels. Sure, she kissed me. One hell of a kiss. A kiss that felt like it was releasing all the tension that had built up between us. But those beautiful, big, blue eyes hide what she is really thinking, inside.  
  
But I'm not patient. Anyone will tell you that. I'm not going to sit around and wait until she figures out what she feels. As much as, oh god, I can't believe I'm saying this. want her.I'm not like Dean. I can't believe that me, James Jesse Marino, can't get a girl. It's never happened beofre. My friends back in New York would never believe it. No way. I guess that's one way Rory makes me a better person. She makes me realise that you just can't charm everyone. Hell! She's even making me admit all this crap. I don't feel anything. Well, I haven't until now. I guess I have felt emotions before, but never as strong as this. I'm noticing things I've never noticed before.I'm experiencing the world in a whole new light. I have something to look forward to. All just because of her.  
  
Every night, I close my eyes and I see her. I daydream about just her saying my name, just saying hi to me. Often, when I can't sleep, I turn on my music, sit by the window and look out on the starry sky, thinking about her. Think about her smile, think about her perfect glossed lips, think about her voice, think about her.  
  
But as always, anything good happening to me always has a side effect. I miss her. I hate the fact that she's left me dangling here on a string. I hate the fact that she has such an effect on me, makes me so vunerable. But, I can't hate her.  
  
I can't take this lonliness much longer. She has left a huge hole inside me. I need someone. Anyone. Just someone that will distract me. From her. Take way this suffoctaing cloud that's surrounding me. Hey! It might even teach her a lesson, see how she likes it. Wait, teach her a lesson? Hurt someone I love? I love her? Oh god, thanks a lot heart; letting me fall for her, letting me love her. 


	2. Rory

Rory's POV This takes place after the season 2 finale, when she's in Washington  
  
I wonder whether he ever thinks of me. He probably hates me. Why wouldn't her? I kissed him, avoided him for three long weeks and then ran off to Washington. I know it was heartless of me but he just makes me so confused. He makes me realise that love isn't as simple as I thought. He makes me realise that maybe I don't love Dean. . .  
  
Who am I kidding? What kind of a person am I? A fickle, bimbo girl that flings her heart all over the place? I thought that I was a loyal, loving girlfriend. Who am I now?  
  
But, I can't blame Jess. I was the one who had the boyfriend. I was the one who kissed him. I was the one that made everything so complicated. Every thing used to be so simple. I would love Dean, not caring for anyone else. Dean is the perfect boyfriend. Jess, on the other hand, is the town menace, sarcastic and gives the impression of being unfeeling. But something more lurks beneath that cool exterior. A sort of mysterious guy, with his unpredictable ways. His passion for reading, something I definitely relate to. And his.I don't know how to describe it.the way he can make me feel like I am the only one that matters to him, despite Luke.  
  
He's so unique. Sometimes, I just feel like wrapping my arms around him, telling him everything is okay. Wait, how can I want to be comforting him? I was the one who caused him pain. I would be like comforting him about the horrible things I've done to him. How ironical. . .  
  
Believe me, I've tried so many times to write a letter to him, to explain everything. To try and tell him that I'm sorry for what I've done to him and that I'm sorry for the way I feel. I feel awful about the way I'm treating Jess, and Dean. Should I tell Dean about the kiss? How would he react? He could break up with me. Where would that leave me? I doubt Jess would welcome me with open arms, not after what I've put him through.  
  
It all comes down to my heart. It try to listen to what it's telling me but it keeps sending mixed messages. It gives me a constant dull ache, but why or who for, I don't really know. I think that's the worst thing; I can't figure out what I really feel. Normally, mom and I would talk it over and usually come up with a solution. But I can't confide in her. She hates Jess. And also, I think she will tell me what I don't want to hear, or to admit. . . that I've fallen for Jess. 


	3. Poem in the night

I just have to say a few things before I start they are;  
  
Lenny thanks for all your help! ( And don't worry, this is going to move out of the soppy love thing soon!  
  
Thanks for reading this whoever you are! Plz review, so I can make it better!  
  
Rory and Jess all the way!  
  
Thanks!  
  
~*~  
  
Jess moved uncomfortably on his bed. It was one of those nights. He sighed and turned on the light near his bed. He couldn't get her out of his head. All he saw was her. He reached over to his notebook and wrote a poem;  
  
~*~  
  
Scarlet skies and stars shine in your eyes,  
  
Giving me a feeling I don't really want.  
  
You fill my thoughts, you govern my life.  
  
I keep on telling myself that you're not mine,  
  
And that I don't feel the things I feel.  
  
We're unsure, we're confused,  
  
Horizons are a blurry, foggy haze.  
  
But when you kissed me,  
  
I felt like I was soaring on a cloud of light  
  
As I felt your heavenly face and hair.  
  
I can't know for sure what you feel,  
  
Your glassy blue eyes stop me able to see,  
  
So we try to tell ourselves that we're not  
  
Falling helplessly into each other's souls,  
  
But there's something there.  
  
~*~  
  
Jess fell back onto his bed. What kind of a lovesick guy am I? Sighing, he reaced over, turned of his light and drifted into sleep. 


	4. Everywhere

Disclaimer: basically, I don't own anything.  
  
By the way, this chapter is back with Rory  
  
~*~  
  
Rory leant back in her chair. Paris was making one of her famous 'let's-get- down-to-business-or-else-I'll-kick-your-butt' speeches.  
  
Rory couldn't concentrate. She didn't have much sleep at all last night. Her mind still was still deliberating over her problem; Dean and Jess.  
  
'Jess. . .' she murmured to herself.  
  
She looked down at the page she was doodling on. Unconsciously, she had been writing his name continuously. Her face burned and she slammed the book shut, causing people to look back at her where she was sitting in annoyance.  
  
"Sorry," Rory apologised sheepily.  
  
As they turned back to Paris, Rory sighed deeply and slumped back in her chair. She had to stop thinking about him. At this rate, she would never survive the next two weeks.  
  
~*~  
  
"So what do you want to do now?" Rory asked Paris as they were walking back along the corridor to their room.  
  
"Don't we have another workshop?"  
  
"Nup, freetime."  
  
"Well I was going to meet James later but I guess we could meet up a bit earlier."  
  
"Is that the captain guy from (? Anyone got any ideas tell me plz!)?"  
  
Paris blushed, "Yeah."  
  
"Oooooooh!" Rory teased, "What are you wearing?"  
  
"I dunno. Probably this," Paris pointed down at the grey knee-length skirt and white top she was wearing.  
  
"Come on, you can't go like that."  
  
~*~  
  
"Are you sure this looks okay?" Paris nervously asked.  
  
"Positive," Rory assured her. And it did look good on her. She was wearing Rory's tartan mini skirt with a matching red top.  
  
"Now go," Rory ordered Paris.  
  
"Hey! You're starting to sound like me!"  
  
Rory rolled her eyes. "Cya."  
  
"Bye." Rory fell back on her bed. 'What should I do now?' she wondered. Her thoughts drifted to Jess. She wondered what he was doing. 'I've got to stop thinking about him,' she told herself. She decided to go for a jog to clear her head. She changed into her tracksuit, grabbed her diskman and headed for the park. Pressing play, her feet started a steady rhythm to Michelle Branch's song 'Everywhere'.  
  
'When I touch your hand  
  
It's then I understand  
  
The beauty that's within  
  
It's now that we begin  
  
You always light my way  
  
I hope there never comes a day  
  
No matter where I go  
  
I always feel you so.'  
  
Guilt rose up in her chest. 'This is stupid' she told herself. A song was reminding her of Jess? She closed her eyes to try to clear any thoughts of Jess. Instead, she saw Jess, smirking his smile.  
  
'Cause you're everywhere to me  
  
And when I close my eyes it's you I see  
  
You're eveything I know  
  
That makes me believe  
  
I'm not alone'  
  
Rory angrily changed the song to 'If only she knew'. At least that song didn't remind her of Jess; Jess didn't have a girlfriend. 


	5. How pathetic

Did you like my little song from last chapter? I was listening to it earlier today and it made me think of Rory and Jess so I decided to put it in. Poor Rory though! Oh and of course, Poor Jess!  
  
~*~  
  
Jess quickly swiped the counter down. He wanted to finish up soon so that he could go and talk to her before she went home for the night.  
  
"Luke, I'm having a break," Jess yelled.  
  
Luke came down the stairs. "Fine, just be here to close up," Luke grunted.  
  
Jess nodded and determinedly headed for the door, trying to stop thoughts of Rory, almostl colliding with Lorelai.  
  
"Woah! Down boy, down!"  
  
"Sorry, but if you'll excuse me." Jess headed for the door.  
  
"Hey Lukey boy!" he heard Lorelai greet Luke.  
  
" Don't call me Lukey boy!" he heard Luke angrily reply as he walked out on the street.  
  
Jess smirked to himself, Luke and Lorelai were back to their flirting selves after finally making up when Lorelai realised 'she couldn't survive without Luke's coffee.' But that wasn't the real reason and both of them knew it. The real reason was because they couldn't stand not seeing each other; not able to survive without each other's company, maybe love. Who knows?  
  
Jess came to a stop in front of the car garage.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Hey Shane."  
  
Even with grease on her face, Shane still looked stunning. Her long, blonde hair was caught up in a messy ponytail, her brown eyes locked with his and Jess couldn't help noticing her long legs and ample bossom.  
  
"Do you want to go for a walk?" Jess asked her.  
  
"Sure, just a sec," Shane smiled at him.  
  
Jess smirked after her. Shane was the sort of girl he wanted.  
  
~*~  
  
"So where'd you wanna go?"  
  
"I dunno. There is the the bridge."  
  
'Wait', thought Jess. 'Do I really want Shane to go to Rory and I's special place? Oh well, it's too late. Besides, I don't care about Rory, remember?'  
  
"Okay, let's go."  
  
~*~  
  
Jess quickly pulled away.  
  
"Jess! What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing ," he replied and pulled her into a returning kiss.  
  
'Kissing Shane isn't as good as Rory,' Jess thought, 'there are no sparks or anything, but it does distract me. Distact me? It's making me think about Rory's kiss.'  
  
As an effort to get Rory out of his thoughts, he deepened the kiss and concentrated on Shane. Eventually, he pulled away. He had to do a few things.  
  
"I gotta go," he explained to Shane.  
  
"Will I see you tomorrow?"  
  
Jess smirked, "Of course," kissed her quickly on the lips and turned, heading back to the diner.  
  
~*~  
  
He found his notebook where he left it, on his shelf, next to his bed. He turned to the last diary entry. He started to re-read it, stopping when he came to the worlds;  
  
'Im noticing things I've never noticed before. I'm experiencing the world in a whole new light. I have something to look forward to. All just because of her.'  
  
He laughed sorrowfully at his words.  
  
"How pathetic. How bloody pathetic," he told himself outloud. He reached into his pocket, took out his lighter and let the page quickly burn into ash. He noticed something on the next page. It was his poem. He took the lighter's flame up to a corner. But he couldn't do it. Sighing to himself, he carefully folded it in two and slid it into Oliver Twist.  
  
~*~  
  
Sorry, this chapter was confusing I know but I had so much to say. Any helpful comments of how to improve it would be great! 


	6. As time draws near

Two weeks later  
  
Rory is due back at Stars Hallow while Jess and Shane's relationship is getting a bit heavier  
  
Any ideas how 2 make this different but still R/J? If so, plz tell me!  
  
~*~  
  
Shave covered his neck with wet kisses. Jess closed his eyes, trying desperately to make himself believe he enjoyed it. He just wanted to get it over and done with. He rolled Shane over so that he was on top of her and started fumbling with the buttons on her shirt. (a bit dirty I know but I don't know how else I could suggest it)  
  
~*~  
  
Rory stood hands on hips, looking at the clothes laid out on her bed.  
  
"Rory! We're not going on a fashion you know!" Paris exclaimed.  
  
"I know but . . . but" she faltered. She couldn't tell Paris the truth. She couldn't tell her that she wanted to look good for Jess.  
  
"Well?" Paris asked her impatiently.  
  
Rory sighed, "I'll tell you on the way back, it's a long story."  
  
"Well just don't take too long deciding, we have to be out of here by at least 10."  
  
"10!?! Our flight leaves at 11:30 and the airport is five minutes away."  
  
"I know, but you can never be sure nothing will happen."  
  
"Fine, fine, I'll hurry up." Rory looked back at her chose of clothes. Jeans? Skirt? Peasant top? Tank top? She looked outside at the weather. Hot. Well at least that makes it a bit easier.  
  
In the end, she changed into her denim mini-skirt with a matching light blue belt that tied at the hip and a singlet top that brought out the brilliant blue colour of her eyes. Then she tied her hair up in a high ponytail, leaving two trendiles fall over her face and dabbed on some lip gloss, along with a bit of silvery blue eye shadow. She surveyed her appearance critically in the mirror. 'It's only Jess. He probably won't even notice anyway,' Rory thought to herself miserably.  
  
"Okay Paris, I'm ready."  
  
Or was she?  
  
~*~  
  
Jess turned over and looked at the clock next to his bed. 10:28. He better get Shane out of here soon or else Luke will find out. Just as he was getting up, something caught his eye. 28-7-02. There was something special about the date. Then he remembered. It was the day that Rory was due back home. 'Shit!' he cursed inwardly. This was all that he needed. Yawning, he grabbed some new clothes and headed for the bathroom. Turning on the shower, Jess wondered what he should do. More correctly, how he should act around Rory when she came back.  
  
Jess leant his head backwards, letting the cold water drip down his face. Did he want Rory to see him and Shane? Serve her right. He was sick of all the bullshit Rory lead him through.  
  
"Jess?" Luke interrupted his thoughts.  
  
'Shit!' Jess inwardly cursed again.  
  
"Yeah, I'm in here," wrapping a towel around himself. Luke stuck his head around the doorway.  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Luke angrily yelled at Jess.  
  
"What an earth do you mean?" Jess replied innocently.  
  
"Don't play Mr. Smart Ass with me. You know very well what I mean."  
  
Jess sighed, "Don't worry, I used protection. She's not going to get pregnant."  
  
"Listen to yourself.'  
  
"What?"  
  
"You don't give a damn about her. Stop trying to deny what you really feel about Rory."  
  
"Hey! Look who's talking!" Jess yelled at Luke, slamming the door after him as he walked out.  
  
"Jess!" Luke bellowed as he followed Jess.  
  
Jess turned around to face Luke, eyes glinting, "Look, you tell me to leave her alone, so I found myself a girlfriend. Now, you're telling me not to deny what I really feel about her. Work out what you want. I'm sick of your crap."  
  
"Who's 'her'?" Shane asked, arms folded and glaring at Jess.  
  
~*~  
  
"We are now arriving at our destination. Please ensure you take all you belongings and hand luggage with out. The air temperature outside is currently 34 degrees, warm and sunny and the time is 12:16. We hope you enjoyed you flight."  
  
'It's about time!" Paris erupted.  
  
But Rory didn't take any notice. Looking out the window to the land below, she wondered what and who waited for her on the ground  
  
~*~  
  
Author's note: Don't forget to review! It makes my day! Oh and I'm an Aussie so if any of you Americans out there see anything that's wrong, plz tell me! Thanks! 


	7. Losing ure grip

Thanks for reviewing. Oh and I realised that I didn't load all of the chapter last time so make sure u hav read of all of the last chapter!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own gg or Avril Lavigne's Losing Grip.  
  
What to do?  
  
Tell me someone!  
  
~*~  
  
Jess was at a loss for what to do with himself. Shane had flounced off after he couldn't answer her question. But she would be back. He knew of her ways by now.  
  
The problem was what to do for the next hour until Rory came back. Reading was the obvious chose. Books had always been a haven for him, an escape from the ordinary world. He would be totally absorbed in the book, imagining the scenes that the characters got themselves into.  
  
Jess smirked to himself. What a messy scene had he gotten himself into. But he couldn't help it. Rory had intrigued him from the beginning. She was the only goddamn thing going for him in this crazy town. He thought that he would just have some fun with her then go back to New York and get on with his life. But everything turned to be very different. She was a challenge for him. Instead of finding an innocent, simple, fairy-tale princess, perhaps a slight interest in books, he found a complex, intelligent and beautiful girl. Who of course, loved literature just as much as he did. She understood him, she enjoyed the things he did. He found his first real love, his soul mate.  
  
Jess run his fingers through his hair. Grabbing his notebook, he yelled out to Luke and went down to the bridge.  
  
Jess had always liked the water. Creeks especially. They trickled down the rocks, the water always moving, and its future unknown. A bit like him. High on nature, Jess let his emotions run free through his pen and onto the page.  
  
~*~  
  
"Mommmm!" Rory cried as she ran arms out towards Lorelai.  
  
"My wonderful-but-deserting-her-poor-old-mom-for-an-entire-6-weeks daughter!" Lorelai cried back as they hugged fiercely.  
  
"Missed me, huh?" Rory joked.  
  
"Missed you? Like cat in the hat without his hat!" Lorelai mournfully answered.  
  
"Didn't he take it off sometimes?" Rory wondered.  
  
Lorelai spun towards her daughter, her hands on her hips, "No he did not!"  
  
"He so did!" Rory fought back.  
  
"Why do you think they call him cat in the hat then. You don't hear of cat not in his had, do you?" Lorelai argued.  
  
"Boy, did you miss me," Rory grinned.  
  
"Am I that see through?" Lorelai asked, pretending to be surprised.  
  
"Yup, afraid so. Like cinderella's glass slippers," Rory replied.  
  
Lorelai groaned, "Don't get started on the fairytales."  
  
"What's ever is the problem, my darling snow white?" Rory asked, trying to look concerned.  
  
"This poor Cinderella is going to change into a pumpkin unless she has coffee very soon," Lorelai warned.  
  
"Cinderella didn't turn into a pumpkin, that was the carriage," Rory exclaimed loudly.  
  
"I told you not to start on the fairytales!"  
  
"What a disgrace, my own mom doesn't know her fairytales," Rory said, shaking her head.  
  
"This mom is going to turn into a ratty old woman with rags for clothes if we don't go and have some coffee."  
  
Rory's face suddenly changed, "You mean you've made up with Luke?"  
  
"The one and only," Lorelai smiled.  
  
"Wow. This I gotta see."  
  
"Let us be off," Lorelai yelled with a flourish, causing a few people to turn their heads.  
  
"Lead on," Rory joyfully replied, completely forgetting about Jess.  
  
~*~  
  
"Lukey boy! Coffee!" Lorelai ordered at Luke's back as they came through the door.  
  
"Lorelai, for the tenth time this week, do not call me that!" Luke growled and turned to face her. "Oh Rory, you're back."  
  
Rory nodded dumbly. After getting over seeing her mom again, she realised that going to Luke's will also mean seeing Jess for the first time after the kiss. "Yeah, I'm back."  
  
"How was your trip?"  
  
"Okay," she mindlessly replied, her eyes skimming her surroundings for any sign of Jess.  
  
Luke noticed, so did Lorelai.  
  
"If you're looking for Jess, I think you could find him down at the bridge," Luke informed her.  
  
"Okay, thanks," she answered hesitantly. Rory didn't know whether she really wanted to see him yet or not.  
  
"Oh and Dean should be at his house which is the third house along Cassia St," Lorelai told Rory warily, hoping Rory would understand what she really meant.  
  
Rory did.  
  
"Do you really think that I don't know where my own boyfriend's house is?"  
  
"Well lately I think you need a bit of directions,' lorelai replied, half turned around in her stool to face Rory.  
  
Luke uncomfortably crept away.  
  
"What do you mean, lately? I've been away for six weeks.'  
  
"All the more reason to go and see him."  
  
Rory turned to Luke, "Don't worry Luke, I'm leaving," then spun around and angrily walked out the door.  
  
Lorelai wanted to follow her and demand Rory what was going on but that would just make things worse.  
  
Luke laid a comforting hand on her arm, "Don't worry. Rory's a sensible girl. Besides, you know how much she cares for Dean."  
  
Lorelai wanted to agree with him and say yes, Rory wouldn't let anything or anyone come between her and Dean. But she knew. It was a replay of her. Rory, how much she tried to deny it, couldn't control her heart and who occupies it. She knew this from experience.  
  
So instead she replied, "But does she love him? Would she skip school and my graduation for Dean?"  
  
Luke racked his brain for a response.  
  
Lorelai, still upset, went on, "I guess I should trust he more than I do. But it's her heart I don't really trust. Gilmore Girls' heats can fall for anyone, despite what our brains tell us."  
  
Luke's breathing became heavier. Despite his efforts, his mind was wondering whether Lorelai's heart could do that for him.  
  
"Anyway, I better go and say sorry to Rory. Thanks for listening, Lukey boy." Lorelai got up and went out before Luke could return from his daze and tell her not to call him that.  
  
~*~  
  
Rory's head was spinning. She had lost her cool so quickly. But Lorelai's prodding had hit so close to home. Too close. She had been feeling so guilty about what she's doing to Dean. But soon all thoughts about Dean turned into Jess. All of this was his fault. His fault?  
  
Rory sighed. She had gone through this a hundred times already at camp. This was her fault. But her heart was so confusing. All she knew was that she had to stay true to herself. She didn't want her name to change into a heartless bitch. She wanted to stay as the nice girl that everybody thought her as. However, she couldn't deny her heart. She had to do something, and quickly, before she caused any more pain for anyone.  
  
~*~  
  
Jess had lost track of the time. He was too caught up in his writing. Soft footsteps echoed in his subconscious. His pen still moved on, but he couldn't ignor the feeling that someone else was there. He looked up.  
  
"Hey."  
  
Rory. Eyes downcast, nervously playing with the him of her cute miniskirt. Her top exposed her sof skin.  
  
"You look good," Jess told her.  
  
Rory smiled, he had noticed. "Thankyou."  
  
"How was your trip?" Jess asked, ignoring the weird feeling that he felt.  
  
"Good," Rory answered, trying to keep calm.  
  
Jess felt the tension mount up between them. He broke the silence.  
  
"Is it just me, ore do you feel the sensation that something like this has happened before?"  
  
Rory faltered. She had to face up to it. Gathering up her strengthm she quietly said, "Ah Jess. . . about that. . ." she tried to think of a suitable word.  
  
'Accident, heart breaker, fluke, incident, mistake?" Jess suggested, his emotions of hurt taking over the words he really wanted to say.  
  
"Jess, please don't be that way," Rory desperately pleaded him.  
  
"Why not?" Jess demanded.  
  
"My feelings, they're just so confused. Everything's just a mess,' Rory explained.  
  
"Well sort them out."  
  
"I can't. You don't know what you do to me."  
  
Jess laughed hollowly, "What I do to you?" He laughed bitterly again and started to sing sofly;  
  
"Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby  
  
Right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real  
  
Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you  
  
Why'd you turn away?  
  
Here's what I have to say I was left to cry there,  
  
waiting outside there grinning with a lost stare  
  
That's when I decided  
  
Why should I care  
  
Cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone'  
  
  
  
Rory felt tears fall silently down her cheeks. She recognised Avril Lavgine's Losing Grip. Jess made no effort to comfort her. Instead, he looked out on the water and into the distance. They stayed in that position for a while, with Rory was rocking herself and Jess staring. Rory had never felt so much guilt before. To do this to him was just so unlike her.  
  
Jess looked up at Rory, "No call, no letter. Nothing Rory, nothing." His pain was overflowing, not allowing himself to feel guilty about Rory's tears. Rory, defences stripped, turned around and started to walk away.  
  
"Jess?"  
  
Rory snapped out of her trance. Jess quietly groaned. Shane. Perfect timing, as always. Building up his self composure, he got up and greeted Shane with a kiss.  
  
Rory watched, wide eyed. It was too much. She spun back around and started to do what she does when she panics; she ran.  
  
"Rory!" Jess regretfully clled after her retreating back. But it was too late.  
  
~*~  
  
Authors note: I tried to make this chapter longer. Thanks for the people who suggested it! Anything else wrong, plz tell me! 


	8. All in a day

Well here I am again. I've had a couple of requests so im continuing on just before I go overseas!  
  
All in a day  
  
~*~  
  
Lorelai caught Rory just before she was about to fall.  
  
"Honey, what's wrong?"  
  
Rory couldn't think speak, she couldn't think. Seeing Jess kiss that girl proved her suspicions. Her suspicions that Jess wouldn't wait for her like Dean. That everything had been in vain. That she had really hurt Jess. That she should have contacted him. That she shouldn't have ran. That she didn't love Dean anymore. That she really did care about Jess. That now she'll have to go back to Dean. And most importantly, that she had lost Jess . . .  
  
Rory swallowed, "Nothing."  
  
" Having tears in our eyes isn't nothing." (AN I used this in my other fic, I know!)  
  
Rory looked up at Lorelai. "Can we go home now? I've got to tell you something."  
  
"Sure hon," Lorelai said, putting an arm around her shoulders, "Just so long it's nothing about me."  
  
Rory grinned tearfully, "Don't worry it's not."  
  
~*~  
  
"You kissed Jess?" Lorelai yelled, so surprised that her mouth hanged open.  
  
"Yeah," Rory looked up guilty. She gave out a little giggle at Lorelai's expression.  
  
"You look like Luke's just kissed you."  
  
"Excuse me, I'm not the one kissing diner guys, am I?"  
  
"I couldn't help it."  
  
"So like some invisible and magical power made you. Or were you demon possessed?"  
  
"Mommm!" Rory groaned, "Don't make me feel even worse than I am about it.'  
  
"Honey, Dean," Lorelai said, flapping her arms about.  
  
"I know, ' Rory regretfully said, looking down at her hands, "I feel terrible about the whole thing."  
  
"You may not believe I'm telling you this but all you can do is follow your heart. It's whatever makes you happy. Jest don't jump into anything too soon."  
  
Rory thought about Jess and that girl. She bit her lip worringly.  
  
"Now who looks like Luke has kissed her, " Lorelai joked as she got up from the kitchen table.  
  
"Ewww, mom!" Rory made a face.  
  
Lorelai grinned misheviously, "Coffee?"  
  
"A tenth cup today?"  
  
Lorelai glared at Rory.  
  
Rory grinned at her reaction, "Hell yeah!"  
  
Lorelai smiled and put on a yoda accent, "Ahh! I have trained you well, my child."  
  
Rory laughed, "What have you been watching while I was waya?"  
  
"Nothing," Lorelai sheepily answered, inching slowly over to the doorway.  
  
Rory grinned and ran past Lorelai into the living room to the VCR. Lorelai followed her, pouting.  
  
"Oh my god! 'Star Wars', 'The Little Mermaid' and 'CROSS ROADS'!!!  
  
"I was in a weird mood! Something took over me," Lorelai explained.  
  
Rory grinned mercessly. "Cross roads?"  
  
"Kissing Jess?"  
  
Rory's face fell. "Some things can't be helped."  
  
"Dean can be helped."  
  
"I guess so. But I don't want to do the inevitable."  
  
"No one does, hun."  
  
Rory fell on the couch.  
  
"Do you want to do it tomorrow?" Lorelai asked.  
  
"No. I want to get it over and done with."  
  
"Go for it."  
  
Rory took a deep breath and headed over to Dean's house.  
  
~*~  
  
"Hi Clara. Is Dean there?"  
  
"Nup. He's at work."  
  
"Oh, okay. Thanks."  
  
Rory walked slowly to Doose's Market slowly. 'I have to do this."  
  
~*~  
  
The first thing Rory saw when she came in the door was that girl. Then she saw them. Dean was almost fumming, his eyes glaring at Jess threateningly.  
  
'What's going on?"  
  
"This punk here has decided that he doesn't have to pay for anything.'  
  
"Geez, it's only a Mars Bar."  
  
Rory didn't know what to do. She was supposed to be breaking up with Dean. But seeing Jess with that girl pissed her off so much.  
  
"Jess, give that back."  
  
Jess turned to face Rory, eyes coldly looking at her, "Who says I have to listen to you?"  
  
Dean pointed at Jess fiercely, "You! Get out. Now!"  
  
"Okay, okay. Come on, Shane."  
  
Jess led Shane out the door.  
  
"That guy just pisses me off so much," Dean said angrily. But Rory wasn't listening. She was trying to stiffle her giggles . . . unsuccessfully . . .  
  
Dean noticed, "What's so funny?"  
  
"He didn't pay!" Rory managed to say between giggles.  
  
Dean grinned despite himself. "Come on, I haven't seen you for ages."  
  
Rory's heart sunk. She couldn't break up with him now, "Yeah, okay."  
  
~*~  
  
Jess had enough. Falling Rory around was getting tiresome. Besides, he had Shane now. Perhaps not as good, but still a good kisser. Jess stepped in front of Shane and kissed her passionately.  
  
"What was that for?" Shane asked.  
  
Jess shrugged his shoulders, "Felt like it."  
  
Something caught Shane's attention behind him. Jess turned. It was Dean and Rory. Jess was pleased to notice that Rory looked like she hated being with him. Dean looked up and saw Jess looking at them, tuned and kissed Rory.  
  
Jess couldn't take much more. "Let's go."  
  
"Where?"  
  
"Dunno."  
  
"Should we go in my car?"  
  
"Yeah, okay."  
  
~*~  
  
"What was that for?" Rory asked Dean after she had pulled away from his kiss.  
  
"Can't a guy kiss his girlfriend?"  
  
'Dean! I didn't mean it that way."  
  
Dean ran his hand through his hair, "I'm sorry. It's just that I haven't seen you for ages. I missed you."  
  
Rory cringed inwardly. What could she do now? All she wanted was to advoid how she felt.  
  
"How about we go to a movie?"  
  
"Yeah sure. Whattcha want to see?"  
  
'Anything without you' she said inwardly.  
  
"Well let's see what's on."  
  
'Hopefully nothing romanic' she added under her breath.  
  
~*~  
  
In the end, they watched 'Tuck everlasting' **Ha ha** which was good and what Jess would've liked to see more than Dean. After the movie, they walked into Luke's for a snack.  
  
"Hey Rory. What do you want?" Luke asked. Seeing the confused look on her face, he turned around and filled a cup with coffee.  
  
"Apart from this," giving her the coffee.  
  
Rory grinned. "Umm, I think I'll have some fries, thanks."  
  
"Dean?" Luke asked.  
  
"Yeah, I'll have some fries too thanks."  
  
"Coming right up."  
  
"So what did you think of Jonathan Jackson in the movie?" Rory asked Dean as they sat down at a table.  
  
"He was okay. But I think I can't really imagine him being in anything else but Dawson's Creek."  
  
Rory chocked on her coffee. "Ah Dean, you're talking about JoshUA Jackson."  
  
"Really?"  
  
Rory was sick of his conversation. I mean the guy couldn't even pretend to be interested in the movie. She wished it was Jess sitting across from her, not Dean.  
  
"What!!!!" Luke interrupted Rory and Dean's boring conversation.  
  
"THAT LITTLE PUNK! Well I'M not going to come and get him out, " Luke yelled down the phone.  
  
By now the whole diner was staring at Luke and his phone conversation with curiousity. Luke scratched his head in frustration.  
  
"How exactly am I supposed to drive to Hartford when I have a diner to run?"  
  
Luke paused, listening to the answer.  
  
"Fine, fine. Someone will be there soon," he grudgingly answered, slamming down the phone.  
  
"What was all that about?" Rory asked.  
  
"Jess has managed to land himself in bail."  
  
Rory went white. "What for?"  
  
"I'm not exactly sure." Luke shifted uncomfortably, "Would you mind going to Hartford and picking up Jess? I mean I would myself but I'm the only one here."  
  
"Yeah sure Luke. I'll ring mom."  
  
"Rory," Dean whined.  
  
Rory couldn't take much more. "Dean I spent the whole night with you. Jess needs me."  
  
Dean gave a hurt look, "Fine!" he angrily said anst stormed out of the Diner.  
  
"Dean!" Ugh!"  
  
~*~  
  
I hope that was okay! I realised I had written it b4 and I hadn't typed it up! Sorry!!!  
  
Oh and please tell me wat I should do for the next chappie (apart from getting Jess out of bail). A fluffy bit? Or an ordinary sort of banter at the diner? The choice is yours!  
  
Luv Princess - troy (Helz*) 


	9. author's note

Wow! Thanks so so so so so so much 4 all ure reviews, they'r so helpful. Ill TRY 2 keep all of them in mind wen im writing the next chapter 4 dis fic. N pplz PLZ b patient coz I have 5 fics im trying 2 write 4. O and that reminds me, everyone who wants to have some good ole' banter between R and J, go check out my other fic, Complicated, lovestruck lives. And the only reason I don't have banter in this fic is coz this is a reallly sappy, AU fic which I wrote in a reallllly lovey dovey/miserable mood. Ill make it better soon I promise! Oh and 2 all u Americans out there, I was wondering what a hot temperature is like there (thanks ANGEL MONROE) and ( ) person out there, ill change the summary about marriage coz der definitely isnt any in this fic!!!  
  
Thank you all so much 4 all ure support and suggestions! Ill write as much as I can and 2 please all of u but Im going overseas 2mro so the next chapter might take a while!  
  
THANK YOU:  
  
Dodgerluv  
  
Angel Monroe (ure a lifesaver realli!)  
  
Lilly  
  
Some1  
  
Christi  
  
Seehoo  
  
Green Eve  
  
kristendotcom  
  
Luke Rules  
  
elvenprincess  
  
MomentOfSilence  
  
seirra  
  
Jin Munku-JGSPTV  
  
CoffeeObsessed 


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